last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
