she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
