just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize