I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
