also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
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I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
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Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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