But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
