I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
