You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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