i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
