Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
