I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
