So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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