Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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