They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
