hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
