And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
