What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
