Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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