They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
