the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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