Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
