I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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