how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
