at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
