ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you would pick up someone in the library
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
