i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
