I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
