p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
