i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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