Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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