Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
