careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
