She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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