Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
