friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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