It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
