she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
