another moral hangover. fuck.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
