This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
