I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
