Don't you send me to vm
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
