operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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