I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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