bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My life is pants optional.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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