well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
there is glitter all over my balls
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