Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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