So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
