His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
