he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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