I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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