Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
