shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
