She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot