just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
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She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
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Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful