had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
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Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
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Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.