So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
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Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.