i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
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margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.