We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.