i can't believe i had my finger in that
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
