i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Omg I joined a choir last night...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
