He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
