I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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